10 Things I Will Do When AI Takes My Writing Job

I’m a product marketing manager for a tech company. Before that, I was a content marketing manager. I’ve also borne the titles of content marketing manager, content marketing writer, marketing writer, freelance content marketing writer strategist thought leader, and other such labels. All that to say, for the last several years, I’ve worked as a “corporate writer” in one form or another. The chief skill for which I’ve been compensated is writing.

I’m a product marketing manager for a tech company. Before that, I was a content marketing manager. I’ve also borne the titles of content marketing manager, content marketing writer, marketing writer, freelance content marketing writer strategist thought leader, and other such labels. All that to say, for the last several years, I’ve worked as a “corporate writer” in one form or another. The chief skill for which I’ve been compensated is writing.

It has recently come to my attention that my profession is under siege. A menacing agent threatens to rob me of my livelihood. This blood-sucking, job-stealing reprobate is not one of flesh and blood, however. No, it is made of different stuff than you and I. It is a merciless tyrant who will not rest until it has devoured my job as well as the jobs of every other corporate writer out there. The villain of which I speak is a computer, of course.

By now, you may have heard of GPT-3, an artificial intelligence system that shows a remarkable command of the English language. According to one author, GPT-3’s writing ability is so exceptional it “startles hardened experts” (chilling, indeed). It’s only a matter of time before this AI bastard writes better content than me, and does so 100-times faster with less whining.

The computers think they’ve won. But not so fast.

I’ve long anticipated this day.

I even have something of a gameplan for it. You will find said gameplan below. These are the ten things I will do in the wake of AI taking my writing job.

1. *I will thank the AI profusely. *By taking on the world’s corporate writing duties, AI will be doing me and every other disenchanted corporate writer a big favor. After all, have you ever met a writer who dreamed of spending their best years becoming an expert in discount furniture, or accounting software, or pet supplies, or whatever bizarre field it was that happened to pay them for their writing services? I certainly haven’t. But no, you should fight to keep those jobs; they’re too interesting to lose. As for me, I will express my sincere gratitude to the AI for sparing me decades of boredom.

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