The Funniest Friend in FRIENDS [Solved]

We don’t know when we’re going back to school or the office. We don’t know when we’ll be able to sit inside at a restaurant. We don’t even know when we’ll be able to mosh at a Korn concert again.

We live in uncertain times.

We don’t know when we’re going back to school or the office. We don’t know when we’ll be able to sit inside at a restaurant. We don’t even know when we’ll be able to mosh at a Korn concert again. But over the course of the last few weeks, there is one uncertainty that I’ve found less tolerable than all the rest:

We don’t know who the funniest friend in the hit 90’s sitcom “FRIENDS” is.

Once you realize you’ve been living your life with such a gaping hole in your knowledge base, you can never go back.

That’s why I decided to make it my mission to harness the cutting edge powers of artificial intelligence and find out if Phoebe’s quirky non-sequiturs are funnier than Ross’s dinosaur jokes.

Fair warning: Prepare to be surprised!

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If you’re wondering how artificial intelligence can possibly figure out who says something funny, here’s my explanation of the technical aspects of the project.

In case you were hoping to stay awake instead, here’s a quick demo video showing what it looks like:

There are two caveats to this approach that I explain at the end of the article.

Before we get to the main course, a couple appetizers:

Longest Continuous Laughter

This award goes to Joey. Joey made the audience laugh for a full 30 seconds when going through his fake resume skills with Phoebe in “The One Where Joey Speaks French” (S10E13). He wrote that he could chug a gallon of milk in under 10 seconds on his resume. Phoebe called him out. He immediately went to the fridge, grabbed a gallon of milk and proceeded to “chug” (i.e. spill down the front of his shirt) for 30 seconds straight. Peak Joey moment.

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Funniest Episode

The award for the funniest episode goes to “The One Where the Stripper Cries” (S10E11). I immediately rewatched this episode when I discovered this and it definitely lives up to the hype. The episode is full of high school and college flashbacks starring “fat Monica”, Rachel’s “real” nose, and ridiculous hairstyles all around. Not to mention we find out Ross kissed Monica in college! Meanwhile Joey gets on a game show and gives a performance that only Joey would be capable of. But what puts this episode over the top is Danny DeVito’s outrageous guest appearance as the stripper at Phoebe’s bachelorette party.

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Most Serious Episode

In contrast, the episode with the least amount of laughter turns out to be “The One with the Invitation” (S4E21). This was a heavier episode that flashed back through the highs and lows of Ross and Rachel’s entire relationship up to that point. Ross was about to marry Emily in England and Rachel had to wrestle with whether she wanted to attend the wedding or not (we all remember how that turns out).

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